Crispi Bacon as a weapon???

It was a bad week for a Utah woman whose last name is Crispi was arrested when she allegedly  tried to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s house by leaving a pound of bacon on a lit stove. Police charged Cameo Crispi, age 32, with arson and burglary.

OK, fine! But what about a fine instead?

A Tennessee  homeowner was jailed for failing to mow her lawn. Karen Holloway spent five hours behind bars for violating local lawn-maintenance laws. “The bushes and trees were overgrown but that’s not a criminal offense,” she said, adding that she and her husband were busy at their jobs. “Why would you put me in jail with child molesters and people who have committed serious crimes?”

Why indeed?

He ain't heavy...he's my brother!

A Danish man with cerebral palsy completed the Ironman Triathion with the help of his twin brother. PEDER Mondrup, 34, has spent his life in a wheelchair, but during the grueling race, he felt uninhibited. His brother Steen swam 2.4 miles while pulling Peder on a raft, cycled 112 miles on a custom- built bike with a wheelchair in tow, and then ran 26.2 miles while pushing Peder’s wheelchair in front of him. The brothers completed the triathion after 13 hours and 32 minutes. Peder said, “I felt like the person I see myself as. I say, “Hurray for Brotherhood!!!

"It's not my fault!"

A former inmate is suing an Oregon prison for failing to give him a ladder to climb in and out of the top bunk in his cell. Mitchell Ray Johnson claims it’s the prison’s fault he tore a ligament in his knee while getting down from his bunk. He is seeking $49,637 in damages.

Beggars can't be choosers...or can they?

An Illinois double murder suspect has filed a 15-count complaint to a local judge about conditions in jail. He says his prison meals are boring and that the towels are too small. He also complains that breakfast is served at the indecent hour of 6:15 A.m. and that the books in the library are not up to date.

Now that’s called ENTITLEMENT!!!

Randy really IS randy!

It was a good week for Randy the guinea pig, who escaped his cage at a British animal park and snuck into a female enclosure, where he impregnated 100 females. “He has now rejoined his male friends,” said the park’s manager. “Clearly he’s got a lot of bragging to do.” See the video

And the Slacker Award goes to...everyone!

A Michigan school has sent a flyer home to parents urging that they and their children minimize the “competitive urge to win” at the school’s annual field day, so as not upset the other students. “We believe all of our students are winners,” the flyer said. What in the world is that school teaching its students…”Don’t do your best!” Come on!!!

Tuition for Two-Year-Olds

There is a new private school for kids under two years old that has opened in an affluent Manhattan neighborhood, promising to teach such skills as “napping” and “self-feeding.” The annual fee is only $33,490. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

Lack of Paramedic Professionalism

A sick Washington, D.C. woman called 911 and summoned an ambulance.

 She ended up having to take the subway to the hospital because the two arriving paramedics got into a heated argument and forgot all about her.

A Determined Valentine

-->

A romantic Arizona inmate broke out of jail so that he could spend Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend. The 40-year old scaled a 12-foot wall and crawled through razor wire, before catching a ride to the Gallopin’ Goose Salon and Grill, where he’d arranged to meet his sweetie. That sure tops “I’d climb the highest mountain” AND “I’d swim the deepest river.” Nevertheless, authorities tracked the fugitive down and took him back to jail.

Humor through the years

I’ve definitely decided that humor does change as the years go by…50 years to be exact. Two weeks ago I saw for the second time, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with Danny Kaye playing the part of Walter. I had seen it 50 years ago, and I laughed as heartily this time as I did then. Three days later, I saw the film with Ben Stiller playing Walter Mitty. I didn’t laugh nearly as much, though it was full of lots of great special effects, and Ben Stiller did a good job.

So…I went to the library and checked out the James Thurber short story upon which both films were based. I read it and smiled a lot. I did not laugh.

Humor definitely does change as the years go by.

Read an excerpt from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Holiday Drink worth missing

I just read that a person must walk for 37 minutes on the treadmill to work off the calories in one glass of eggnog.  Thank goodness I never did like eggnog!