DUA (Driving Under Age)

So… Did you hear about the 6-year-old boy who got pulled over for driving a car erratically in Lapeer, Michigan? He explained that he took his dad’s car because he wanted to get some Chinese food. “I don’t know how he was able to operate everything and see at the same time,” said the policeman.

There goes the neighborhood...

A Florida homeowners association has decided to ban all outdoor play to keep neighborhood children safe. No skateboards, roller blades, or bicycles are allowed on the complex’s roads or common grounds. Even ball playing is prohibited.

How sad. Some of my favorite memories from childhood are while playing RED LIGHT on our neighborhood sidewalk in the summertime after supper.

Out with the meatballs, in with the hot dogs?

Well, I never read so much about food scandal as I did this week. The world’s most famous Swedish meatballs, those sold to bleary-eyed shoppers at Ikea, were found to contain horsemeat at outlets in 14 European countries. Organic eggs in Germany turn out to have been laid by battery hens fattened on distinctly non-organic feed. And in the USA, a new study using DNA analysis has found that “seafood fraud” is rampant on our very own shores. One frequent stand-in for what sushi restaurants call “tuna” is actually a cheaper, oily fish called escolar, which can give you explosive diarrhea. And the odds that you’ll get real red snapper in a restaurant or at the supermarket are about 1 in 16, or roughly the same as Gonzaga Universities chances of winning this month’s NCAA men’s basketball  championship.

It’s enough to make a person just go out and eat chocolate!

Everyone wins!

Even though the world is full of greed, I just read something that really warmed my heart. A Missouri couple have used their lottery winnings to improve their hometown. Mark and Cindy Hill have spent chunks of their $293 million fortune on the town of Camden Point. They have bought their town a new firehouse and baseball field, plus refurbishing the town’s wastewater system, and topping up the high school scholarship fund. The Hills’ gifts amounted to 25 years of taxpayer receipts for the town.

And that’s not all. The town’s fire chief Walt Stubbs says, “That’s just the kind of people they are. They were that way before the money came.”

Now, that’s my kind of people!!!

Suspected.....and confirmed

Did you hear about the man in Germany who was picked up on a suspected DUI? He didn’t have to take the breathalyzer test because he thought the breathalyzer gadget was his cell phone, and he tried to use it to call his lawyer.

Bet Your Bottom Dollar!

I just read that Mariah Carey slathers her 18 month-old twins’ rear ends with La Mer facial lotion after each diaper change. The lotion retails for $150 per ounce and $1,900 for a large bottle. WOW!!! Those baby bottoms should be insured.   
          

Never too late...

I did read the other day that medical experts tell us that we can enjoy sex way past the age of 90, and my hormones said, “WOW!” But then I heard about a 96-year-old Indian man whose wife bore him a son last month - the second in two years.  And what did the Indian man say? He said, “I think it’s important for a husband and wife to have sex regularly.”  That statement definitely clears up everything!